Murphy's Law for Law Enforcement

*The Mayor will only get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.

*Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the Mayor.

*Anyone that flirts with you on-duty won't even recognize you off-duty.

*The one time you cuss on the radio, your chief will be listening.

*Pens NEVER leak onto old uniform shirts.

*Do unto others, But do it first.

*NCIC will be down anytime you see a car listed on a hot sheet.

*You will only lock yourself out of your cruiser when a Supervisor is on the scene, about to arrive on the scene, or is the only person available to fetch the spare set of keys from the station.

*You will only forget to go to court when the case is presided over by the meanest judge in town.

*Coffee Machines only break down on the graveyard shift.

*Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.

*Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.

*The day you let your girlfriend ride with you, your wife comes by the station to visit.

*Crime only occurs on days that end in y.

*There will be no parking spaces around the court house when you are running late to appear.

*You will only be stopped for speeding off duty when you have forgotten your Drivers License and Badge.

*No patrol car assigned to you will be clean and have a full tank of gas when you get in it.

*Your radar will only malfunction when you see a car you know is going at least 100 MPH.

*The one time you wake up late and don't have time to iron your uniform is the one time the chief comes to roll call.

*Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.

*You will never get the urge to use the restroom until you have left the station.

*Vehicle pursuits will always progress from areas of low traffic density to areas of high traffic density.

*You will only roll through a stop sign when your chief is sitting on the other side of the intersection.

*Court will be cancelled only after you have changed all your plans to be there.

*For every good deed you do there is a lawyer to undo it.

*Your pen will only run out of ink when you are ready to write a ticket.

*Court will be scheduled in the middle of your days off.

*You are ALWAYS downwind from pepper spray.

*If the air is out on your patrol car the suspect will smell worse than a wet dog.

*Your patrol car will only break down 10 minutes before the end of your shift.

*The first sip from the first cup of coffee at the beginning of your shift usually triggers the dispatcher to send you on an emergency call.

*Whenever you're in a hurry is when the slowest drivers are on the road.

*Computers only delete reports when they are nearly finished.

*Just when you are thinking about making a pit stop in case they call you for an emergency, they'll call you for an emergency.

*After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done!!!!

*****IF Anyone has any they wish to have added to this list Please email them to me at and they will be added immediately.*****

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Note: All pages marked with are law enforcement related poems.

My Adopted POW/MIA Hero
My List
Mom, Now I realize
What is a "Steel Magnolia?"
What Goes Around, Comes Around
Crimson Tide Football
Unfolding The Rose
A Woman Is Also A Lady (about domestic violence)
The Rookie And The Chief
Mister, You Break My Heart
The Heart Behind The Badge
My "Special Friends"
Don't Be Blinded By My Badge
How To Make A Trooper Cry
The Creation Of Peace Officers
"Angels In Blue"
The Man Behind The Star