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Murphy's Law for Law Enforcement




*The Mayor will only get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.

*Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the Mayor.

*Anyone that flirts with you on-duty won't even recognize you off-duty.

*The one time you cuss on the radio, your chief will be listening.

*Pens NEVER leak onto old uniform shirts.

*Do unto others, But do it first.

*NCIC will be down anytime you see a car listed on a hot sheet.

*You will only lock yourself out of your cruiser when a Supervisor is on the scene, about to arrive on the scene, or is the only person available to fetch the spare set of keys from the station.

*You will only forget to go to court when the case is presided over by the meanest judge in town.

*Coffee Machines only break down on the graveyard shift.

*Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.

*Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.

*The day you let your girlfriend ride with you, your wife comes by the station to visit.

*Crime only occurs on days that end in y.

*There will be no parking spaces around the court house when you are running late to appear.

*You will only be stopped for speeding off duty when you have forgotten your Drivers License and Badge.

*No patrol car assigned to you will be clean and have a full tank of gas when you get in it.

*Your radar will only malfunction when you see a car you know is going at least 100 MPH.

*The one time you wake up late and don't have time to iron your uniform is the one time the chief comes to roll call.

*Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.

*You will never get the urge to use the restroom until you have left the station.

*Vehicle pursuits will always progress from areas of low traffic density to areas of high traffic density.

*You will only roll through a stop sign when your chief is sitting on the other side of the intersection.

*Court will be cancelled only after you have changed all your plans to be there.

*For every good deed you do there is a lawyer to undo it.

*Your pen will only run out of ink when you are ready to write a ticket.

*Court will be scheduled in the middle of your days off.

*You are ALWAYS downwind from pepper spray.

*If the air is out on your patrol car the suspect will smell worse than a wet dog.

*Your patrol car will only break down 10 minutes before the end of your shift.

*The first sip from the first cup of coffee at the beginning of your shift usually triggers the dispatcher to send you on an emergency call.

*Whenever you're in a hurry is when the slowest drivers are on the road.

*Computers only delete reports when they are nearly finished.

*Just when you are thinking about making a pit stop in case they call you for an emergency, they'll call you for an emergency.

*After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done!!!!

*****IF Anyone has any they wish to have added to this list Please email them to me at DixieAngel@cableone.net and they will be added immediately.*****



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